All men like watching sports. It's a given. It doesn't matter if it's archery, golf, boxing, athletics, judo, cycling or a bunch of guys playing a glorified version of rounders (j'accuse softball), as long as there are winners, losers and a sufficient degree of difficulty involved men will watch a sport and love it. Or at least that's the way it's supposed to be. But what if you've been born without a sports watching gene? What if you'd sooner watch an OK band in a half-decent venue than see two world-class teams play in a world-class stadium? What if the only time you ever glance at the newspaper sports pages is when you're using them to line the cat's litter tray? What if magazine editors (say the editor of this very magazine for instance) can tell just looking at you that you're not into watching sport because you give off 'that sort of vibe'?
As a fully-fledged 21st-century man, I'm not exactly what you might call a stranger to having my masculine identity undermined. I've had it undermined by plumbers (yes, that was me who called one out only to have him solve the problem with a single turn of his spanner) and by pub quiz teams ('Mate, there's no way any of us lot would have known the answer to that Kylie question') but up until now I've never had it undermined by a magazine editor. So having noticed my 'vibes' and thrown down the challenge to try to get into watching three different Olympic sports in preparation for London 2012 there is only one response on my lips: 'Bring. It. On.'
Two days later, accompanied by my friend Steve, a lifetime Blues fan, I find myself driving to Birmingham City's St Andrew's ground to attend — at the age of 40 — my very first proper football match. This is no kick about in the park. It's the Barclays Premier League, and even I know it doesn't get much better than that.
As we park up several streets away from the stadium Steve tells me that I couldn't have picked a better game. 'The Blues are in the relegation zone,' he says, 'so we really need a win against Bolton to stay in the Premiership'. He goes on to tell me about the team's form over the season and while I try my best to follow what he's saying it makes no impact at all.
