As winter sets in, going out and going gay just got a whole lot more sophisticated. It's all about sipping cocktails in exclusive members' bars and boutique hotels, with a professional crowd of good-looking guys or girls, who may not know all the moves to Beyoncé's Single Ladies but are just as intent on a night of homo hedonism.
Let's start with the lesbians for a change. After years of being shoved into basement bars and elbowed out the way by sweaty topless men at 'mixed' nights, gay women are doing it for themselves setting up glamourous women-only events at some of the capitals hottest venues.
Lipstick Ladies is a London and Brighton-based group for likeminded women bored by the same old scene. Join at thelipstickladies.webs.com where you can introduce yourself to fellow members in cyberspace before meeting in person at the next do. You'll have got all that awkward small talk out the way online — meaning the events (cocktail parties, comedy nights, Sunday brunches) are relaxed, fun and friendly affairs.
The Lipstick Ladies recently commandeered the rooftop bar Londons trendy Sanctum Hotel (sanctumsoho.com), there are plans for a mass retreat to Formentera Yoga (formenterayoga.com) in Ibiza early next year and various other events, from club nights to country jaunts, are still to come.
Less social networking, more exclusive gatherings for girls who want to dance, drink, pick up dates and generally indulge in some Sapphic debauchery — is Lounge.
These monthly guest-list only parties are officially the best lesbian nights in London. To make sure your name's down next time visit lounge.uk.net and join the facebook group for event updates. The View Lounge in Number One Leicester Square is where it all happens — a super stylish bar that offers vertiginous views across central London.
If The L Word was based in London rather than LA, Bette, Tina and the girls would surely have been members of Samphire (samphire-events.com) — a free-to-join lesbian members club that hosts events in some highly desirable nightspots.
St Martins Lane Hotel (stmartinslane.com), The Zetter, (thezetter.com), and Andaz (andaz.com) are just some of the celebrity haunts also frequented by the Samphire crew.
If you're visiting London or a born-and-bred local, joining one of these fantastic lesbian social clubs is quite literally your key to the city.
Boys, if you've read this far, I'm impressed!
And you'll be pleased to hear there are, as usual, far more options available for gay guys than there are for lesbians.
For a start there's Jake run by Ivan Massow. These ostensibly 'professional' weekly networking events are really more about swapping digits than business contacts. Join here jaketm.com to find out more about the latest soirée. Shoreditch House (shoreditchhouse.com) with its rooftop pool and to-die-for interiors is a favourite Jake venue, as is the intimate boutique bar and restaurant Mews of Mayfair (mewsofmayfair.com).
Expect hot guys in sharp suits comparing gyms. Look out for TV presenters, ex-boy band members and the occasional politician.
Marginally less A-list but a step up from the sticky floors and dingy dance halls of Old Compton Street is villagedrinks.co.uk. It might refer to its events as 'professional networking' but there's not a name tag or free USB stick in site at these regular manly mingling sessions. They're often hosted at the industrial chic Light Bar (thelighte1.com) in the heart of East London.
Of course, gay guys don't need to be fully fledged members of groups like Jake or Village Drinks to have a high-end night of high-jinks in London. If you know where to go there are still some hidden gems in Soho.
Go to Shadow Lounge (theshadowlounge.co.uk) for celeb spotting, The Green Carnation (greencarnationsoho.co.uk) for Champagne and show tunes, and Friendly Society (79 Wardour Street) for a hot mess of disco dancing and kitsch decor at the end of the evening.
There's nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned ūber-camp gay night once in a while — heck, who doesn't love a dancing to cheesy pop with teenagers in skinny jeans and neon vest tops — but it's all about options, and hopefully I've opened a few more (secret) doors for you.
