The premise was promising. A ‘lesbian love story, filmed in Hamburg and Taipei, exploring the differences between eastern and western cultures’. It couldn’t be too bad, right?
Wrong.
Ghosted was yet another wincingly awful movie with acting more wooden than an IKEA flat pack and an outlandish plot that tangled every twist into knots. In the five years that I’ve been going to London’s annual Lesbian and Gay Film Festival at the BFI, I think I’ve seen one genuinely good flick, a spoof
Charlies' Angels film called
D.E.B.S. It was brilliantly refreshing: it wasn't in German, shot in black and white or full of spiky-haired women in denim. But still every March, my friends and I pour over the programme. Year after disappointing year has taught me nothing. I cling to the hope that each new offering will be as good as that one film I saw back in 2005.
During last year’s screening of
Ghosted, the dodgy intonation and soap-opera intense stares had me digging my fingernails into my thighs. Some of the lines were so bad the entire audience groaned. It was only as the credits started rolling and we stood up to make a swift exit for the BFI bar that we realised the film’s director had been sitting behind us.
But unlike at most lesbian events, where a misanthropic crowd wouldn’t dream of talking to each other, there was a great sense of camaraderie at the South Bank that evening. Complete strangers bonded over tales of other equally dire films and documentaries from years gone by.
And I think that’s why I look forward to going back every year.
That the British Film Institute devotes a month of programming to lesbian and gay films is great testament to the vibrancy and equality of London. And while the quality of some may leave a lot to be desired, the festival is brilliantly run, and there are always diverse talks and events alongside it.
So I’ll be hitting the Southbank again this month. Keep an eye on
bfi.org.uk, and if you have any recommendations for films that won’t have me writhing in the aisles, please leave a suggestion here.
The 24th BFI London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival runs from 17-31 March 2010. Visit bfi.org.uk/llgff/ for details.
